Women Share Thoughts On Male Loneliness Epidemic

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“I want to try and give a real and nuanced answer to this. It’s easy to shit on guys who complain about it, but there is a very real and very harmful loneliness epidemic that is actually happening, especially in younger generations. I could go on at length about the loss of third spaces for teens and young adults (like malls, skate rinks, and whatever else). With things becoming less affordable and social media becoming more accessible, a lot of folks are opting into digital spaces rather than physical ones. And people can have close, personal friendships with people they meet online — I want to get that straight. But more often than not, many interactions made through social media are very surface-level and don’t particularly scratch that friendship itch. So, yes, there is a loneliness epidemic, but it’s not exclusive to men.”

“I do think that it’s exacerbated for men, due to the patriarchal standards that men aren’t allowed to be vulnerable. So when you’re already removed from community, to seek it out in a meaningful and sincere way makes men look ‘weak.’ Not to us women, but mostly among other men, and especially within themselves. That’s why so many teenage boys turn to the alt-right pipeline: it’s a space online, exclusive to men, where they can be vulnerable with each other without being perceived as weak. It’s designed to be predatory by the entire ‘alpha male’ apparatus that exists. I’m not trying to excuse incel rhetoric, and a lot of these guys pose a very real threat to women. But I think we shouldn’t blame the individuals as much as we should blame the social pressures that led them there.”

—drugsandsocks