With his debut memoir “You Thought You Knew,” Kevin Federline is telling his side of the story. The 47-year-old first came to public prominence as Britney Spears‘ second husband after they married in 2004, plucked from his rising career as a dancer and thrust into a chaotic world of paparazzi and superstardom. But things soon turned acrimonious following the birth of their two sons, Preston and Jayden, leading to years of infighting over custody out of concern for Spears’ mental health and his ridicule as a public figure.
Federline outlines much of his experiences with Spears in “You Thought You Knew,” out Oct. 21, while shedding light on his personal trajectory. From the start, the Fresno native reflects on his burgeoning dance career on tour with LFO and Pink amid his relationship with Shar Jackson, with whom he has two children. But much of his story focuses on Spears and their tumultuous romance, from the whirlwind of attention to their inevitably contentious dynamic. Through it all, he reiterates his devotion to being a father to his six children, stating that he only cares to protect them from the ills of the world.
In a statement to Variety, a rep for Spears says, “With news from Kevin’s book breaking, once again he and others are profiting off her and sadly it comes after child support has ended with Kevin. All she cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James and their well-being during this sensationalism. She detailed her journey in her memoir.”
Now living in Hawaii with his wife Victoria Prince, Federline traces the shocking moments from his life in “You Thought You Knew,” divulging how it all unfolded.
Federline Was Thrown Into the Deep End
After meeting Spears at Hollywood club Joseph’s and sparking their romance, Federline was brought into her circle, as she demanded that her team include him on her European tour. Her security warned him to “be careful” and that he was “on a sinking ship,” which he said was “the first real warning,” but it was a night in Amsterdam that ultimately changed his perspective. They returned to their hotel room after a night of partying when Spears said she’d be right back. Federline later found her making out with a dancer named Theresa and swiftly packed to leave the tour, only to change his mind after she apologized. Still, he recalled, “that moment was a turning point for both of us,” one where she realized that he wasn’t there for the “fame or perks.”
Spears Had ‘Unfinished Business’ With Justin Timberlake
The night before Federline married Spears in 2004, he recalls that she had a phone call with her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake outside of where they were staying in Santa Monica. He said he could “tell Britney still had some unfinished business” with Timberlake, and that she had been crying. She explained that she needed to call Timberlake “to end one chapter of her life before starting a new one” and wanted closure. But “even after the wedding, I could tell she hadn’t fully moved on,” he writes. “Looking back, especially after hearing what she said in her book, I realize it was deeper than that. She never really got over him. She might’ve loved me, but there was always something there with Justin that she couldn’t let go of.”
He Learned of Their Divorce Through an Interview
Federline claims throughout his memoir that he had several breaking points during his relationship with Spears, but points specifically to one evening where he knew “this was the beginning of the end” for their marriage. In 2006, Federline was celebrating the release of his debut album with a party at Los Angeles’ Paramount Studios on Halloween. Spears initially said that she would not be attending, but inevitably did show up along with her brother Brian, father Jamie, agent Jason Trawick and an unnamed actress. Federline walked in on her in his dressing room doing cocaine with the actress, something that he’d seen her do before, but was shocked to witness as she was breastfeeding at the time.
Federline confronted her about using cocaine, telling her, “Please don’t go home and breastfeed the kids like this. Call your mom or someone. We need to get formula. You can’t do this.” Spears then threw a drink in his face and stormed off, while Federline called her mother and insisted that she not let Spears breastfeed at her home. The next morning, Federline called his lawyer Mark Kaplan to draft a legal letter demanding that Spears stop breastfeeding their children, and Federline left town to promote his record, ignoring her calls and messages. While he was in Toronto for an interview at MuchMusic, a producer asked him just before he went on air, “How do you feel about Britney filing for divorce?” — the first he’d heard of their split.
He Details Spears’ Erratic Behavior Towards Their Children
Federline spends much of “You Thought You Knew” insisting that his main priority has always been protecting his children and providing them with a safe life. But he writes of several instances where he claims Spears acted abusively and erratically around their two children. In perhaps the most shocking moment in the book, he describes how their sons Preston and Jayden awoke several nights to Spears standing in the doorway watching them sleep with a knife in her hand. “Oh, you’re awake?” she said, only to “turn around and pad off without explanation.”
The book also details several other incidents that his children relayed to him, including one where Preston claimed that Spears punched him in the face. Federline states that Spears bleached their hair down to the scalp, leaving them with burns, and that Preston once asked him when he was 10 or 11 why Spears kept forcing him to bathe with her. The boys recorded some incidents with Spears on their phones, including times that she verbally berated them and once woke up Jayden at midnight to put lotion on his face on a school night. He says that Spears also gave Jayden shellfish, knowing that he was allergic to it. In what Federline describes as another breaking point, Preston went to Europe with his girlfriend’s family on vacation where he received a call from Spears, blaming Federline for everything. After Preston confronted her and called her out, Federline recalls, “Her response was chilling: she told him she wished he, his brother, and me were all dead.”
He Reflects on Spears’ Infamous Paparazzi Moments
In her memoir “The Woman in Me,” Spears explains that her split from Federline and severe postpartum depression led to her infamous episode where she shaved her head and attacked a paparazzo’s car. Federline reflects on that period in “You Thought You Knew,” describing the time that Spears locked herself in a bathroom with Jayden and claimed that Jayden was being abused at Federline’s house. After a standoff that lasted for hours, Spears was removed in a straitjacket and placed in a 5150 hold as their children were inspected by doctors due to her “outlandish claims.” “I felt sick over what she was going through,” he states. “This was someone I had loved.”
Federline Couldn’t Get Behind the Free Britney Movement
After Spears was put in a conservatorship, Federline says that he “supported the decision because I believed it was the only way to stabilize her situation, and more importantly, provide a safer environment for our kids.” He turns his attention to the Free Britney movement, which rallied for her freedom from the conservatorship. “I tried to understand where they were coming from, but I could never fully get behind it,” he writes. “At times, it felt more like a fandom’s mob mentality than genuine concern for Britney’s well-being.” He theorizes that the judge who terminated the conservatorship in 2021 felt “pressure” from the Free Britney movement, which “led the judge to ignore professional reports and cave to public opinion, especially with her own election on the line.”
When the conservatorship ended, he “braced for the worst.” “The Free Britney movement got it wrong,” he says. “All of those people who put so much effort into that should now put the same energy into the Save Britney movement. Because this is no longer about freedom. It’s about survival.”
He’s Concerned for Spears’ Well-Being
Though Federline has not spoken with Spears in years, he says that he feels “an increasing urgency that I can’t ignore” and that her situation is “racing toward something irreversible.” “The signs are all there: the erratic behavior, the isolation, the cycling of people around her, the refusal to accept help. It’s become impossible to pretend everything’s okay,” he writes. “From where I sit, the clock is ticking, and we’re getting close to the eleventh hour. Something bad is going to happen if things don’t change, and my biggest fear is that our sons will be left holding pieces. They love their mom. They’ve seen the red flags. But they don’t know how to help without being attacked, misunderstood, or blamed.”
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