The Britney Spears saga is about to take another hairpin turn with the Oct. 21 release of ex-husband Kevin Federline‘s shocking tell-all, You Thought You Knew. The memoir details Federline’s journey from the streets of Fresno to Hollywood, where he once showed enough raw dance talent to be cast by Michael Jackson in what would turn out to be the singer’s final music video.
But the bulk of the story belongs to Federline’s tumultuous two-year marriage to — and ensuing co-parenting arrangement with — Spears. Unlike the tale of a former child star pushed to her limits in her own autobiography, The Woman in Me (soon to be a Universal film from Wicked director Jon M. Chu), Federline’s version paints the pop icon as a deeply volatile figure who put their two sons in precarious situations from even before birth, when he alleges she was drinking wine during pregnancy.
For those seeking tawdry details, they are in heavy supply, as Federline claims Spears engaged in sexual scenarios with female staffers, casually used cocaine as well as partied with the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton as her sons cried in the background and engaged in increasingly erratic and even violent behavior, often at the expense of her children’s mental and physical well-being. One sensational anecdote currently making the rounds involves one of her sons waking up to see his mother clutching a knife in his doorway.
Spears’ camp has issued a statement about the book, saying, “With news from Kevin’s book breaking, once again he and others are profiting off her and sadly it comes after child support has ended with Kevin. All she cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James and their well-being during this sensationalism. She detailed her journey in her memoir.” THR also reached out to Spears’ team to comment on Federline’s specific allegations, but had not heard back as of publication.
Since the Free Britney movement successfully helped free Spears from her conservatorship in 2021, Federline says, the situation has only grown worse. In a wide-ranging interview, he positions the book as a Hail Mary of sorts with regard to Spears’ well-being — hoping the harsh light of truth, or what he says is the truth, will prevent the worst from unfolding.
Your book tells an intense and disturbing story and it’s a lot to take in. But I imagine it was more intense to actually live through it.
Yes, definitely it was — and reliving it was intense, as well.
I know that Britney’s camp has already responded, and they’re saying that you have ulterior motives in writing the book, that this is a money grab. What is your motive in writing the book?
My story’s been told by everybody else through a different lens for 20 years, and I felt that it is time for me to tell my story. That’s what it is, right? I wanted to wait. I waited until my kids were old enough and waited so I can gain a really good perspective and reflect. And now is the time, right? And that’s what it is. This book is for my children’s future.
It’s a book as much about your kids as it is about you and about Britney. The most disturbing sections all involve your children. They’re how old now and how do they feel about the book?
Jayden is 19; Preston is 20. I have two older ones as well [with actress Shar Jackson], Kaleb and Kori, who are 21 and 23. I have two [with current wife Victoria Prince] that are still under 18 that I’m raising. My kids are 100 percent behind me telling my story, which is a big reason why I waited. I wanted to make sure that they fully understood why I was doing this and wanted to make sure that they were all on board.
At certain points in the book, you write that Jayden and Preston severed all communication with her. Is that still the case?
No. I mean, their situation with their mom is fluid and they do talk. They’ve even gone and seen her and stuff.
You detail a honeymoon phase, but pretty early on red flags begin to appear. You have a record release party and you talk about her doing cocaine with an A-list actress, who goes unnamed. The boys were babies at the time and you were concerned about breastfeeding. The implications of that really seemed to be at the top of your mind. Can you talk about that incident and how that changed your perception of your marriage?
Leading up to that, there were a few [concerning] things.
You said she was also drinking — light drinking, but drinking — during the pregnancy and that concerned you.
Of course this concerned me. Anything that could possibly harm the child is concerning. So yeah, it was a bit shocking for me through some of those moments. But yes, that night at the record release party was really what set everything off. I realized that I needed to get into “protect my children” mode, is what happened. Like I said in the book, it’s not necessarily the extracurricular activities [i.e., drug use]. I was concerned for my children. And eventually she filed for divorce. That was the actual breaking point in the marriage.
You were still blindsided by the filing. You write about how you found out about it moments before you were going live on the air on MuchMusic, and a producer told you. Were you not thinking about divorce at that point? Why was that moment such a rug-pull for you?
I was taking a stand, but I didn’t really think at that moment that it was going to be the end. I thought it was still something that we would be able to communicate and work through. But there was no phone call or heads up. I found out through the actual media that she filed for divorce. I mean, that was a shocker.
You also talk about how you were painted in the media — that you were punchline often for Jimmy Kimmel and other comedians — and how much that hurt. How did you cope with being dismissed as Britney’s husband-slash-backup dancer and never being taken seriously?
It was tough to navigate those moments, especially being pretty young. I was in my mid-20s. What kind of saved me was being able to focus on work and my children. That kind of got me through, especially up until the point where I met my wife, who I’m with now. She’s the foundation of everything that came after.
And I had a lot of help. I had a lot of people that care about me. I had a lot of people that were around me at the time. Between friends and family, and my nanny, they really helped me through some of the tougher moments.
You write that Britney fired the entire household staff once after finding you with an ounce of weed. And some of them continued to work for you — became part of your extended family.
People that were around us in the beginning were like family to me. That situation you just mentioned put me in an awkward situation right off the bat.
Right before the infamous hair-shaving moment went down — with the umbrella photos that everyone remembers — you detail an emergency intervention held at the Beverly Hills Hotel for Britney. This was organized by her father and mother, Jamie and Lynne Spears. They both were later painted by the Free Britney movement as having bad motives. What was your own sense of their motives?
I think it was clear to everybody at that time that the situation was just wild. Looking back at it now, being a father myself and knowing how I feel about my family, I honestly feel bad for them — because they’ve been so vilified in all of this. Nobody’s perfect, obviously, but I feel that they were trying to do right by their daughter. I mean, that to me is clear as day if you really look at it and take it at face value.
One of the things that her father is accused of is forcing her to perform against her will in the Las Vegas residency. Was she performing against her will or did she enjoy being onstage?
I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t dive 100 percent into that because when the conservatorship happened, I was completely focused on the kids.
How were you sharing the kids during that period?
It was pretty 50-50 for a long time. Especially when she was doing the Vegas shows. There were even times that she had them more than I did on occasion. I always wanted us all to keep that open line of connection to the boys. Even with her family. I would give up some of my time to make sure that her family was able to visit with them.
So the handoff of the kids always went smoothly? Would you see her, or was it done through an intermediary?
We had people that would do the back and forth. There were times when we would see each other. There were times where we would show up to soccer games together — there are pictures of us together and things like that. It wasn’t always a horrible situation. There were good times; there were bad times. It was all kinds of ups and downs throughout the last 20 years.
In the most disturbing passages, you detail moments that she’s with your sons as they’re getting older. You describe a marked favoritism shown for one son over the other son. You describe her behavior around them as “Joan Crawford on crack,” which is a line that will echo in my brain for the rest of eternity. You allege other scary and erratic behavior toward them. What was going on? Why were things spinning so out of control?
All of it has been terrifying, and it’s a lot to handle as a parent. Navigating all of those things was very difficult. But honestly, I couldn’t tell you, because it wasn’t happening over at my house. So I don’t know exactly what all was going on. I know that there were a lot of different concerns and I tried to manage all of it without it becoming just this huge ordeal. This whole time, all I’ve really tried to do is make sure my sons are able to have a good, solid bond with their mother.
You’ve known her more intimately, and for many years now, than most people on the planet. What do you think is going on?
I think that if anybody’s paying attention that they can kind of see for themselves. All I really want is for her to be happy and healthy, and I want her to be around for our kids. My kids want her to be around for a long time. So I’ve sounded the alarm. It’s become a situation that I need people to start supporting my sons and their mother.
You told The New York Times that you feel like something bad is coming. What could we do to prevent that? Because she is pretty much a universally beloved icon.
That’s it. That’s what’s a difficult part of this whole situation is, right, is that my sons are stuck dealing with a situation that nobody knows how to navigate.
Are they happy? You paint a lot of ugly pictures of their childhood and growing up. I’m wondering what their lives are like now.
My sons have great memories with their mom. I am not trying to paint this horrible, horrible, horrible picture. They care about her very much. We all do. We want what’s best for everybody, and I want her around for my kids.
Did you read her memoir, which they’re making a movie out of? And do you feel like it was a stilted or unrealistic portrayal of her own life?
Yeah, I mean, I’ve read her memoir. I don’t think that things are exactly perfect, but that’s her perspective.
I appreciate your candor, and I wish your family the best. I really do.
Thank you so much, man. I appreciate it.
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