My teen daughter’s friend keeps flirting with my husband. This has got to stop.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here.

Dear Care and Feeding,

Our daughter and her friends are 16. One of her friends, “Callie,” has an innocent but obvious crush on my husband, “Josh.” Callie does a lot of clumsy teen flirting and he either ignores it or shuts it down politely. If she’s around, he makes himself scarce. Our daughter teases Callie about it and tells her it’s weird, but it hasn’t stopped. And there’s a particular reason that Josh is so uncomfortable.

He was abused by a trusted adult as a kid, and so he’s extra sensitive to stuff like this involving adults and children. Right now our approach is that I do all the supervising the girls, including carpool drives, pickups, and dropoffs, when Callie is involved, and Josh steers clear.

Josh came to me and told me it freaks him out so much he’s getting on a waitlist to go back to therapy to deal with flashbacks from his childhood. He’s worried about just the appearance of inappropriate behavior if she’s flirting with him. Josh begged me to help him deal with this situation. He suggested she not be allowed at our house anymore, and he wants to skip our daughter’s games for the rest of the season since Callie is also on the team. He suggested we talk to her parents. He suggested I (!!) talk to Callie about romantic safety and the risks to minors. This all seems like overkill, but maybe I’m just not taking this seriously enough? I want to keep everyone in this situation safe and well, but not go too far.

—Too Cautious?

Dear Too,

It may seem like “overkill,” but Callie’s behavior is triggering to your husband and it makes sense that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to avoid her. I would start with talking to her parents; while a talk from you could be helpful, it would be more appropriate for her own folks to have that discussion with her. For most teens, the humiliation of having her crush (and her behavior) shared with her parents should be enough to put a stop to her flirting. If she persists, then it would be fair to stop allowing her to come to the house; it’s not ideal for your husband to miss your daughter’s games, but if he needs to, try and be understanding—this situation has brought him back to one of the most traumatic times in his life. If you end up having to take one of these measures, you should talk to your daughter about what her dad experienced (he can decide how much he’d like to share) and the importance of behaving appropriately with adults. However, I suspect that Callie will get it together once her parents are made aware of how she’s been acting.

—Jamilah

Classic Prudie

We have a vacation place in a popular tourist area. It’s pretty rural, there’s no cell coverage, and we had to go through a lot of engineering and effort to get ourselves workable internet service. My wife and I are both pretty strongly averse to social media. We’ve therefore blocked all the major social media services at our homes. We often invite friends to come stay with us—and we give a heads-up that there’s no Facebook et al. available. Some guests have seemed put out by this. Is it so unreasonable?