Woman, 22, Worried She Was a Pedophile. Then She Was Diagnosed with a Rare Form of OCD: ‘I Thought I Was a Monster’

NEED TO KNOW

• Molly Lambert struggled with intrusive thoughts for years before discovering pedophilia-themed OCD (P-OCD) through a TikTok video

• She was formally diagnosed with P-OCD in 2025 after suffering in secrecy and shame about her distressing thoughts

• Speaking out about her experience has helped Lambert connect with others and work to reduce the stigma around P-OCD

For seven years, a woman believed she was a pedophile — until a rare diagnosis explained her intrusive thoughts.

Molly Lambert, a 22-year-old from Manchester, England, grew up struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. She recalled having constant thoughts about death and being kidnapped. But by age 15, things escalated and she would have constant sexual and violent thoughts about children.

“The thoughts took a turn that was not what I experienced before,” she told Southwest News Service. “I was starting to have thoughts that I was a pedophile, that I was a rapist, that I was a predator, that I could harm somebody else.”

Lambert said the intrusive thoughts were so bad that she felt like she was a danger to other people, including her friends and family.

When she was 19 years old, Lambert came across a TikTok video about P-OCD, pedophilia-themed obessive-compulsive disorder. She started to realize that she wasn’t alone in her experience.

“I thought OCD — like loads of people do — was cleaning and organizing. That can be a part of it, but that’s one theme out of all of these other themes that you can experience,” she said.

According to the Mayo Clinic, “Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions).” With P-OCD, instead of repeating physical actions, people experience ruminating thoughts, or the continual overthinking of a particular subject, event or emotion. What makes it challenging for many is that such thoughts typically continue with no conclusion.

People with P-OCD experience excessive worries and distressing intrusive thoughts about being sexually attracted to, and sexually violating, children, according to the National Institutes of Health.

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Despite learning about P-OCD online, Lambert said she still felt anxious about her thoughts and kept them a secret. She struggled for years and dealt with “dark spirals” of shame.

“You think you’re a monster, that you don’t deserve to exist,” she said. “The shame is in how you see yourself. Even years later, that feeling can linger.”

Lambert tried therapy, but was never honest about her situation, telling professionals only that she suffered from “dark thoughts.” Ultimately, her panic attacks from the intrusive thoughts worsened and she finally decided to be transparent.

In August 2025, Lambert was formally diagnosed with P-OCD.

“It’s not being a pedophile — it’s that these thoughts exist and your brain latches onto them,” she explained. “OCD is all about uncertainty. It tells you ‘what if?’ and you can’t prove it wrong.”

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Although Lambert is getting help, she still has difficulty navigating the condition. She admitted that she wishes she were diagnosed earlier because it “could have saved me years of suffering.” However, she said going public about her experience has helped significantly, and she’s been able to connect with other people going through the same.

“Externalizing it helped the most,” she told the outlet. “For years I avoided talking about it, but once I did, it felt like the air cleared.”

“The response has been overwhelming,” she continued. “People say they’ve been crying, that they’ve felt like this for years and never told anyone. Parents have reached out saying they have obsessions about harming their children. Some people said they ended up in psychiatric wards or tried to take their own lives.”

Lambert said she hopes to remove the stigma and help others know that these unwanted thoughts don’t make her — or them — bad people.

“People don’t talk about it, and that makes it worse… You have to label it so it loses power,” she said. “It gives people permission to step back and realize it’s their brain — not them being a monster.”

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