DEAR ABBY by Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: A close relative has been diagnosed with incurable cancer. Friends are now sending me articles and clippings about cancer research and the promise of new therapies. If they had actually READ these articles, they would see that clinical trials on humans are far off, or that the type of cancer referred to in the article is different from what my relative has. Why offer hope when there is none? The same thing happened to me when I had cancer 20 years ago. In one instance, I received an article about how to prevent the cancer I already had!
Please remind your readers that although these items are most often sent with love, they do little to help the individual experiencing the illness and treatment and can cause anger and pain. Doctors, especially oncologists, provide their patients with the best treatments available. It’s best to let them handle it. Thank you. — SAD RELATIVE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR RELATIVE: Many people, upon hearing that someone they care about has a terminal illness, feel sad and helpless. Out of a need to do SOMETHING, they will send articles, some of which are inappropriate. While I agree that the most reliable source of information about cancer is your relative’s oncologist, and that readers need to be aware of the message they are trying to send, please understand they are being sent out of a desire to help.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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